Accept the Gift

This week in my New Testament class we have been focusing on the Crucifixion of Christ. It is a topic that I hold near and dear to my heart and have felt the spirit so strongly as we have discussed it in class.  My comprehension of the infinite love that Christ has for each and every one of us on such an individual bases has been magnified as I have come to more fully understand the intensity of the suffering that Christ went through.  Our discussions in class have given me a desire to love deeper, forgive faster, and serve more freely during this Christmas season to show Christ that I am truly grateful for his example.

Our professor, Brother Griffin mentioned a section from the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis that had a profound impact on me.  Screwtape is a devil and is training his apprentice the most effective way to temp humans and gain control of them.  He explains to them that humans go through up and down cycles where life is good and then life is hard and the most detrimental thing that can happen is if a human is in a hard time and they are not receiving direct answers from God, but they choose to be obedient anyway.  This touched me so much because it clarified in my mind the importance of having hope and faith.  As we move forward trusting in God that his plan is greater than ours, even when it is so unclear to us, we shake the devil off our backs and grow into true disciples of Christ.  The blessings always come and the sun always shines if we keep pressing forward.

As I read in Matthew 27 I could help but get inside the head of Pilot and understand what he was thinking and feeling.  He knew that Christ was the Son of God, yet because of his own fear and pride, he did not stand up for what he knew to be right.  In Matthew 27: 24 it states, "When Pilate saw that he could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made, he took water, and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: ye to it."  As I read this I had the desire to never be like Pilot, where I know for a surety that Christ lives, but I deny his teaching by my simple actions everyday because of a desire to please the world.

I know that Christ lives and that he loves me and that his atonement is infinite.  He has already paid the price, it is up to me to accept it.

"If ye love me, keep my commandments"

In Matthew 26 we learn about when Christ suffered for our sins and afflictions in the Garden of Gethsemane.  In verse 38 Christ says, "My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here and watch with me."  Christ suffered beyond comprehension and was in so much pain that he feared that he may not live.  He returned back to his disciples and found them sleeping, unaware of the agony that he was experiencing.  In verse 40 Christ says unto his apostles, "...What, could ye not watch with me one hour?"

Throughout my life I have read this verse in shock that his very own apostles, the ones who had stood by his side and watched him perform miracles, could fall asleep when he needed them the most.  The first time that this scripture became so much more personal was when I was on my mission.  I was in my training, I was fatigued, I was exhausted from trying to understand bits and pieces of a language that I didn't know, and I was so hot I was dripping sweat.  During the sacrament I felt my head begin to nod and my eyes begin to droop and then all of the sudden I was reminded of this scripture and I could instantly relate with these disciples.  I was wearing the name of Christ on my chest and had been representing and testifying  of him all week, but I let my natural man overcome me when Christ needed me to be focused on Him the most.

I am so grateful to know that God is merciful and that if we strive to "stay awake" and focus on Christ rather than letting our natural man take over, he will allow us to progress and become like him someday.

In John 14:15 Christ explains, "If ye love me, keep my commandments."  There is no better way to show him our love and loyalty than by giving up what we want, for what he knows we need.  I love this gospel, and I will forever cherish the knowledge that we have that through obedience to God and Christ's commandments, we can all be saved.

Hold to the Truth

I love in John 13:1-17 how it describes when Jesus washed the feet of his disciples.  They were hesitant to let him do it and I can only imagine that I would feel the same way.  Their feet were dirty from walking on dusty streets in sandals all day and rarely showering like we do today.  They respected him as their Lord and Master and didn't think that it was appropriate for him to do something so lowly as wash their feet but Christ insisted that they let him.  This was symbolic for his willingness to cleanse all of our sins no matter how shameful or dirty they may be.  I had never comprehended the depth of this story and was very touched by it.  As I served the people of Paraguay, I taught people every day that truly believed that the sins that they had committed were too great and there was no hope for them.  I as well, have found myself with a difficulty to forgive myself and struggle to accept that I am doing enough to be worthy of all that God has given me...But Christ is so good! His plan is so beautiful and he demonstrates here that he loves even the lowliest of us and will never loose hope in us.  The atonement is for saints, sinners, and everyone in between.  I am so grateful to have a knowledge of this doctrine and to be able to share it with so many and bring light, truth, and hope into their lives.

The bible dictionary states, "When a person speaks by the power of the Holy Ghost that same power carries a conviction of the truth unto the heart of the hearer."  I know that as we rely on the sacred power of the Holy Ghost, we will understand truth for ourselves, and we will be able to reach the hearts of so many others in a way that we wouldn't be able to do on our own.

With the recent results of the election, there is a lot of controversy and contention going around.  I love knowing that God is so mindful of us and always has our best interest in mind and we never have to doubt that.  As we rely on the Holy Ghost and the power that he gives us, we will be able to remain as a light upon a hill and help others hold on to truth and righteousness in an ever changing world.

You Strain at a Gnat but Swallow a Camel

In Matthew 23:24 Christ is talking and he explains how the Pharisees and the Sadducees would strain at a gnat but swallow a camel.  Dr. Griffin explained that the greek translation actually says that they strain for a gnat, which means that they strained everything they drank with a cloth to make sure that it was clean and didn't have any bugs in it.  They were so hypocritical and focused on the most meticulous laws and commandments, yet failed to keep the highest laws of God such as adultery.

It is easy to look at them and quickly point figures at how twisted their society was and how confused and wicked they were, but the reality is they aren't so different from us.  I think that at times it isn't so blatantly obvious but there are many ways that we do where we live a double standards and do all the right things when people are watching, but behind closed doors have a different set of values.  I am so grateful for a God that is just, and that knows the desires of our hearts.  Something that I am beginning to understand deeply is that it truly doesn't matter what others thing of us because God is the ultimate judge and he knows what is beneath the surface.  He loves us for who we are and who we were created to become.  There is no need to be hypocritical or try to make ourselves look righteous to others God knows the truth.

I am so grateful for a gospel that takes away the pride and comparison in life and lets us focus on better our own best, because at the end of the day we will be judged on what WE did with OUR life and not what our neighbor did with their life.

Give the Reins to Him

In Matthew 12:8 we discussed how Christ rode into the city on a donkey and the multitudes praised him chanting Hosanna which was a way of deeming him as royalty.  I loved how we discussed that this was a miracle that the donkey allowed him to ride amongst a crowd of yelling people without being disturbed.  Donkeys are stubborn and they get anxious and irritated easily so it is not normal that Christ was able to do this.  While serving a mission in Paraguay, I was able to find the miracles in everyday.  Even the smallest things were clear to me that they were tender mercies from God.  I have noticed that the longer that I have been home, the more that I have stopped noticing the little miracles in everyday.  I always want to remember this discussion, and remember to thank God for everything that he does for me, and be able to recognize his constant hand in my life.  Life is so beautiful when we can see all the good that God does for us.

We can be likened to this donkey.  We can either appeal to our natural instinct and be stubborn, anxious, or easily irritated, thinking that our way is best, or we can humble ourselves.  We can give Christ the reins to our lives and let him guide us along the path of mortality will complete trust that he knows the path better than we do.  I know that as we give up our selfish passions and desires to God, and allow him to take the lead, we can become someone infinitely better than we ever could have made of ourselves.

In John 12, we read again about the different roles that Mary and Martha play in serving the Savior, and we learn that although their ways are very different, they are both right because they are serving from their hearts.  It is so important not to compare ourselves to others, but rather understand the divine role that each of us play as disciples of Jesus Christ, and magnify that role.

We Are His Creation

How many times in life do we pray for something and heavily rely on the lord when times are hard, but when we get what we want or things seem to come easy we forget to involve him in our lives.  It is so easy to recognize his hands in every aspect of our lives when we are searching for it.  Life is a constant miracle.  But when we get prideful and forget who gives us all, we fall into a dangerous place.  In Luke 17:14-19  it talks about the 10 lepers who were healed by Jesus.

It reads,

14 "And when he saw them, he said unto them, Go shew yourselves unto the priests.  And it came to pass, that, as they went, they were cleansed."

15 "And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, and with a loud voice glorified God,"

16 "And fell down on his face at his feet, giving him thanks: and he was a Samaritan."

17 "And Jesus answering said, Were there not ten cleansed?  but where are the nine?

18 "There are not found that returned to give glory to God, save this stranger."

19 "And he said unto him, Arise, go they way: they faith hath made thee whole."

How happy God must be when we are sensitive enough to the spirit that we can recognize his hand in our lives, and take the time to express our gratitude.

With gratitude in our hearts, we are more capable of reaching out to others and being an instrument in God's hands.  The leper that turned back to thank Jesus surely had family and friends that he could wait to go back to and tell of the great news, but he understood what was most important and he prioritized Christ over all.

I am learning in my life that the key to confidence and happiness is gratitude.  As we acknowledge all that God grants us every day, life is so beautiful and full.  It is especially important to recognize how lucky you are to be you.  I think that as were learn to humble ourselves to God, and truly love ourselves, we are telling God that we are grateful for all that he has made us.  We are his creation.

Quest, Don't Question

I believe that at some point in every one of our lives, there will come a time when we all will have to decide for ourselves what we truly believe for ourselves.  Sometimes family crisis cause us to reach this moment, a near death experience, or maybe just a loss of purpose, but when this time comes it is so important that we approach it with faith rather than fear and doubt.  My New Testament teacher helped us understand that as we search for answers to life's deep questions, or confusing doctrine, it is so important that we go on a quest rather than question.  Like Elder Holland Stated, we must fan the flame of our faith.  Questions are good.  They allow us to to dig deeper and truly know something in our hearts, rather than simply accepting something and going through the motions, but we must search for the answer with a faith that we will find them.  

I loved Matthew 19:26 where it reads, 

"But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, with men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible."

Through faith in God we can go through life with excitement and motivation that all things that are worthy and that are according to the will of God can be accomplished.  Sometimes it is hard not to have a fear of the future and of what will happen because we see so much destruction around us.  We know that life is not supposed to be easy because we grow through the hard times, but sometimes I fear what trial will be placed in my path next.  This scripture filled me with a sense of hope that no matter what the next trial is that I find in my life, through God, I will be able to conquer it.  Rather than fearing what hard times are ahead, I have found myself looking forward to what miracles and growth lie ahead.  

God is so mindful of his children, and the universe was created to help us succeed.  I love to know this for myself, but also to see this in others.  As I look at all the diverse people as I walk around campus, I am able to realize that they are spiritual beings created to accomplish incredible things, and I am filled with love for them.  This gospel of Christ is love, acceptance, perseverance, trust, and happiness and these things are all within reach for every single one of God's children.  I am setting a goal with my self to quest for my divine role in this life and for answer, and throw questioning aside.  Nobody's got time for that. 

All that you have is all that he needs

John 6:

9. There is a lad here, which hath five barley loaves, and two small fishes: but what are they among so many?

10.  And Jesus said, Make the men sit down.  Now there was much grass in the place.  So the men sat down, in number about five thousand.

11. And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given thanks, he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to the that were set down; and likewise of the fishes as much as they would.

Jesus asked them to give him what they had, and it was not much, but they did it willingly.  The "lad" that gave up his food was probably depending on that food for the night and maybe the next morning but sacrificed everything that he had because he had faith in Christ that all would be well.  I remember so many times on my mission having a burning desire to give all that I had, yet feeling like I would never be able to do enough to show Christ my love and appreciation for him.  As Dr. Griffin talk about this young lad in class, I was able to liken myself to him a lot.  His contribution was relatively small in comparison to the end goal of feeding the five thousand, but because he gave all Christ was able to fill in the gap and provide more than enough for the multitude. 

I KNOW that Christ lives and loves us and that his purpose for us in this life is to find joy.  He does not want us to be wallowed up in our inadequacies and short comings but rather give 100% of what we've got, and he will make up the difference.  Life is so good and happiness is AlWAYS within reach. 

Come unto me, and I will give ye rest

In our studies of the New Testament this week, we focused a lot on the miracles that Christ administered while on the earth and the humility that he maintained throughout it all. Throughout every situation of crisis, he remained calm and collected and never had an attitude of panic or despair.  I've often asked myself how he was able to maintain such peace and I have come to realize that it is because he had such unwavering faith that he truly did not fear, only believed.  I think of the dad of the dying child that waited for Christ to come heal his daughter and was distraught when Christ did not seem to have to same rushed agenda.  How many times in my life do I feel that he just doesn't understand how much I need him, when really he is in charge of the situation and all I need to do is trust and believe. 

Mathew 11:28 reads, "Come unto me, all ye that are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."  I remember my freshman year in college, my aunt gave me a plack to hang above my desk that had this scripture on it.  When times were crazy and I was feeling stressed, I always remembered to put Christ first and someone everything would always fall into place. Christ is always there for us and his hand is always outstretched to us, we just have to be willing to accept it.

YOU are a MIRACLE

This week as the leaves turned red and orange and the world began to transition from summer to fall, I began to ponder about what kind of changes I want to make in my life and what is necessary for my spirit to turn into something more beautiful.  While reading in Matthew I stumbled across a verse that really struck me.

Matthew 8:31 reads,

"So the devils besought him, saying, If thou cast us out, suffer us to go away into the herd of swine."

These devils were so anxious to have a body that they begged Christ to let them enter into even the most thoughtless and dirty of creatures to accomplish this goal.  This made me reflect on how many times I have complained or have heard others complain about the body that they have been given and the abilities that they possess.  God does not make mistakes.  Each one of us was so thoughtfully created and designed to accomplish certain tasks while on the Earth, and as we are grateful for what we have been given, we will more fully be able to tap into the divine potential that we possess.  I think that many times we don't really what a miracle we are.

This stage of life that we are in can be confusing because there are so many questions and so much is left up in the air.  What we do now can determine the course of the rest of our lives so I think many times through all the unsurety it is  hard to recognize our strengths and all that we are capable of.

As I read in the Bible Dictionary about Miracles, I realize that each one of us is a miracle and God never ceases to be a God of miracles, so if we keep pressing forward without deviating off the course and relying on God's will we can have complete confidence and trust in God that he will make us all that he imagined we would be.

BD Miracles:

"Miracles are a part of the gosepel of Jesus Christ.  If miracles cease it is because faith has ceased."

 For God So Loved the World...

This week after reading John 3 and John 4 I had the chance to ask myself, am I like the rabbi or am I more like the woman at the well because the contrast is very distinct.  I loved how the rabbi was a prominent social figure and was well known for being very righteous man, yet when Jesus spoke to him, he was not prepared to humble himself and accept what he was teaching immediately.  The woman at the well was some what of a social outcast.  In the worlds eyes she was a sinner, yet as she talked to Christ, she recognized him as her Savior and became an incredible missionary.  I want to follow her example and forget about what the world thinks of me, and focus on humbling myself and being close enough to the spirit to recognize the Savior when he calls to me.  I want him to know that I will drop everything and follow him.

John 3:16 states,

 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

I love this gospel so much and I know that if we truly believe and trust that through Christ we can be made perfect and recieve eternal life, we will want nothing more than to drop our nets and follow him.

Its symbolism is beautiful, and its consequences ever so desirable

I love studying about the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ.  To me it is one of the most spiritual topics to study because it reminds me that although our Savior is perfect and almighty, he is also the most humble of all.  He was born in a stable and was raised without luxuries of the world but remained focused on his mission every step of the way.  While studying about Mary and Joseph in Luke,  something struck me about the humility of Joseph that I had never noticed before.  When he found out that Mary was pregnant, instead of treating her with disgust or anger, he chose to be a law abiding citizen and tell, but he didn't want it to be public and he wanted to protect her even though I'm sure the situation initially did not make any sense to him.  Throughout the rest of the Savior's upbringing, he remained good teacher and father to Christ and always remained in the backlight, never demanding recognition for what he did.  His example reminded me of other humble heroes from the scriptures such as Sam, the brother of Nephi, Hyrum Smith, Shiblon, and many more.  All men who loved their God and desired to serve him, whether that meant receiving glory or not.  I am inspired to humble myself, and give my all to the Lord so that I can stand blameless before him, even if the world will never know what I have done. In the bible dictionary, Satin as the father of lies and the enemy of all righteousness and his main purpose in this life is to keep us from achieving exaltation. This thought can be scary because Satin is powerful and we are so imperfect as humans, but as we read under Baptisim in the bible dictionary, all of our fears can be put to ease.  It sttes, "Baptism s a most sacred ordinance, which a person, having received it, can remember throughout life as a reminder of the personal commitment to Jesus Christ. It's symbolism is beautiful and its consequences ever so desirable."  The chance to become clean through Christ is available to all of us and the peace and assurance that He is with me at all times has brought me light an happiness in the darkest situations.

The Gospel is light and truth and happiness

This week I hit the 6th month mark of being home from my mission and it was kind of a surreal experience.  On one hand it feels like I got home just yesterday and on the other hand it feels like the mission was another life time, almost like a dream.  Hitting that mark made me reflect back on who I was at the end of my mission, the things I swore I would never go back to ( cough cough facebook, instagram, sleeping in, etc.), and who I had envisioned I would become.  It made me look inside myself ask if I was reaching that potential, and if I was a better person than I was 6 months ago or had I fallen behind.  Sometimes it's hard to be brutally honest with yourself. To be honest, I wasn't convinced that I had quite lived up to my own expectations that I had set for myself, and I could see all the little areas where I had fallen short time and time again...but then I started reading in John 1:11-12 which reads, "He came unto his own, and his own receiveth him not.  But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believeth on his name," and I was overcome with peace.  I came to the realization that I had been relying on my own personal strength so heavily when what I really needed to be doing was drawing on the power of God to accomplish my goals and ambitions.  Just like Moses failed three times before he finally asked in the name of God for help, I was trying to fight my own battle which is so much more challenging and ultimately impossible to succeed at.  The gospel is light and truth and happiness and I began to feel a change in myself, just as I had seen in so many people in the field.  As we heavily rely on the power and the light that Christ's Atonement brings into our lives, I know that we will become all that God has planned for us to be...which sometimes is not what we had envision...but it is always so much better.